Moving in with your significant other is a big step, both in your relationship with each other, and in your life as an adult. Maybe you’re moving out for the first time. Maybe you’ve had an apartment or house for years, with roommates or by yourself. No matter what your situation is, moving in with your significant other brings a lot of changes, from having to share your bedroom, to having to share your finances. In this guide, we’ve put together our top questions and tips for moving in with your boyfriend, so you can skip getting stressed out, and focus on getting excited about your life together,.
How to Know When to Move in With Your Boyfriend
The most common question people ask about moving in with their partner is: how long should you date before moving in together? Or, how do you know when it’s time to move in together? The answer is: there is no specific timeline to moving in together. Some couples move in together after only a few months of dating. Others wait years before making the leap!
Of course, everyone has an opinion on the “right time” to move in together. If you ask other people, they’ll give you their timeline of when they think moving in together would be appropriate. But the only person’s timeline that should matter to you is yours, and your partner’s. Deciding to live together is part of a larger conversation about your relationship, the depth of your feelings for each other, and where you see things going long-term. It’s a highly personal choice, so don’t rely on others to tell you when to make the move. Instead, focus on making sure that you and your boyfriend are on the same page in your relationship, are ready for the financial independence of your own place, and most importantly, are both excited!
Things to Discuss Before Moving in Together
Before you make the decision and start looking at apartments or home, there are a few questions you can go through to make sure you’re ready to move in with your boyfriend. We’ve split our top questions into three categories: questions about money, questions about homemaking, and questions about your relationship. Addressing all these questions will help you feel confident about moving in and starting a life together.
The very first thing to discuss is: where are you moving? Is your boyfriend moving in with you? Are you moving into his place? Are you finding somewhere completely different, or even moving to a new town or city? Make sure you’re both happy with the decision, and have a plan to handle any existing leases, whether you’re breaking a lease, or finding a subletter, etc.
Money Questions for Moving in with Your Boyfriend
Numerous studies have shown that money continues to be the #1 issue in long-term relationships. Let’s face it: talking about money isn’t easy, and learning to share your hard-earned cash with another person can be daunting, especially if you have different philosophies about how to spend your earnings. When you move in with your boyfriend, dealing with finances will no longer be something you can do alone, so make sure you discuss these money questions before you start living together:
- Will you be getting a joint bank account, or keeping your money separate?
- How will you split bills?
- Do either of you have debt? If so, how will you address paying down that debt?
- How will you split payments for furniture and food you buy as a couple?
- Who will be “in charge” of handling finances?
- Do you want to set up or adhere to a budget?
You’ll also need to tell each other about your current financial situations. For example, if one of you has a bad credit score, it could affect your ability to get an apartment, or could increase the interest rate on your mortgage. Make sure there are no surprises when you try to sign the paperwork for your new place!
Homemaking Questions to Talk About with Your Partner
These questions will help make your home a happy and efficient space that you both enjoy living in. They’ll also help you avoid unnecessary arguments about whose “job” it was to take out the trash, clean up after dinner, or do the laundry. Before moving in together, make sure you talk about:
- Who will be responsible for which chores? Who will be cooking, cleaning, taking out the garbage, doing the grocery runs?
- How clean do you like to keep your space? If one of you is more neat than the other, make sure you’re being considerate of that person’s needs. If you’re the neat one, try to understand that living together will be a transition for your loved one.
- Which things will we be bringing? What can we each throw out, or donate? Basically, whose stuff is coming into this joint space?
- If one or both people have pets, make sure to discuss how their care will be handled too!
Relationship Questions for Moving in Together
These questions are more personal, and have to do with where your relationship is, and where it’s going. This is also the time to discuss what happens if things don’t go how you want them to. It’s awkward, but necessary. So make sure you discuss:
- Why are you moving in together? Is it just to save money? Is it because you think you “should”? Or is it because you feel your relationship is truly ready?
- How will you handle disagreements? When you live together, you can’t simply put away your phone, or easily escape an argument, so you need new tools to make sure you can get through arguments smoothly.
And here’s the awkward one:
What will you do if you break up? If is important to discuss who will get the apartment, how belongings that you purchase together will be split up, and how you’ll handle the process of moving out. We know it’s not a fun conversation, but it’s better to discuss it now than to try to make those decisions after a breakup, whether it was messy or mutual.
Tips for Living with Your Boyfriend
If you’ve never lived with another person before, you need to be prepared for the fact that it’s just plain different from living alone. Even if you’ve had roommates, living with a romantic partner is a different experience. Here are a few tips for couples moving in together to help your relationship move to the next level:
- Compromise, Compromise, Compromise: You are two different people, with different preferences and habits, and your living styles aren’t always going to mesh. Being willing to compromise will help you find ways of living together that work for both of you!
- Maintain Some “You” Space: When you live together, it can be hard to get away from the other person. Even if you can’t imagine ever wanting to be apart, there will be times when you need your own space. Whether you have a room for yourself, or a space in the house like a reading nook or your personal desk area, having your own spot to go to that’s just yours can help give you the little escape you need.
- Still Go Out: When you live together, the idea of staying in can be tempting. Why go out when the person you love is right there with you? But remember to keep the romance alive: go on dates, take a walk, just get out and enjoy other places together! Trust us, you’ll be happy you did.
Moving in Together: An Exciting New Chapter
When it comes to moving in with your boyfriend, the most important thing to do is remember you’re doing it for love! Moving in together is a great way to bring your relationship with your partner closer and deeper, and it’s often the first step towards marriage. So if you’re thinking about moving in together, let us be the first to say Congratulations!! If you take the time to go through the process together, and remember to communicate & compromise, you’re going to love living with your boyfriend.